so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
