so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
