Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
