I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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