that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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