So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize