If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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