OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
