my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize