its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
