so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
