I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
