this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We got so high we made milksteak
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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