I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
