By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
