My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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