Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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