Don't you send me to vm
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize