This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
