I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
