If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
