hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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