Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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