how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
