just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ttyl tear gas
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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