yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
