On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
