Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
