Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
