This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
