We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
