Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
