**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
