So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Β
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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