Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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