this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
