I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
