it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
