we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
