Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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