Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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