She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
