You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So here I am, sexting at work.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
