How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
