in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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