just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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