Don't you send me to vm
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
