no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found the puke drawer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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