don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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