Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
