he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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