doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
