I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
