Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
