there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
