Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
