At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
