Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize