I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
