Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You made out with two different species that night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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