A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
