I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize