she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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