I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize