he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
