My friends, they love my intelligence
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
