You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
