if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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