Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
