What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We need to get me chipped asap
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
