Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
